"I Can't Put Her Down!"

"For Christ's sake, I just want to pee!"

It didn't take very long for our cherub to let me know she wanted to be held... constantly. If I put her down, she'd cry. As soon as I picked her up- fine. (And no... it wasn't an ear infection... yet.) When I told the nurse practitioner she pronounced- colic. Colic. Really? Are you shitting me? 

Now, this may not sound like a problem to some of you. Who wouldn't want to hold their sweet little newborn all the time? And now that I'm out of that particular phase, sure, I might be able to see that as well. But I was a stay at home mom with little to no help during the day (husband worked, mama in law not in close proximity, no siblings nearby, friends all worked). Her crying cut right through me so rather than let her cry for a few minutes (oh, that was just unspeakable in my book at the time) I actually had to resort to holding her while I went pee! It was bad. I had quite a few breakdowns. My mother-in-law said my husband was like that. Gee. Thanks hubby. She got your dark hair and your inability to go without being cuddled 24/7. My mother-in-law chuckled as she recounted vacuuming while holding him. I wanted to bang my head against the wall. All I saw ahead of me was months and months and months of never, ever being able to set her down for anything. 

It was colic in the sense that if I put her down, she cried. It was not colic in the sense that she would scream and cry for hours on end no matter what I did. That much, I can be thankful for. So how did I cope?

• I listened to It Won't Be Like This For Long by Darius Rucker and You're Gonna Miss This by Trace Atkins (the first song still makes my husband cry). 
• I got real familiar with our Baby Bjorn. Mostly we went for walks but I also did things around the house with her strapped in. 
• Went for walks in the stroller
• Exercised while holding her (squats, lunges, dancing)
• Started "Opa pa Thursday"- my Dad came over every Thursday and she was so content being held she usually just napped on him for a couple of hours
• Baby Swing (worked on occasion) 
• Tummy time (after a while we were able to do this with her and it helped)
• Grab'n'Go snack basket- Stocked a basket with granola bars, cereal bars, fruit snacks for easy grazing
• Prepared my lunches ahead of time
• Rested/Ate when she napped

The exercise bit was great. After I got married I packed on the pounds and for the life of me, couldn't shed them. I had pretty much given up on the notion of ever fitting into anything skinny again. Well, combine breast feeding with a reflux diet and a colicky baby and you get the best damn weight loss plan ever. In less than four months I lost all the baby weight and all the marriage weight! I got down to my wedding day weight. Looking back, I should have been less restrictive with my diet or just forced myself to eat more because it definitely contributed to my milk supply drying up just a little faster than I planned. 

Colic will pass. Bug's colic phased ended before she was two months old.  Carrying her a lot did not spoil her. Although she thrives on attention, she's more than capable of being left "alone" to play. At nearly 6 months she still has "needy" days that remind me of the colic times but I just recognize them as what they are and even though it can be annoying "I'm right heeeere kid! Relax! You're fine! I'm just putting some dishes in the sink!" 

Everyone told me just to enjoy her wanting to be held because one day, she won't be able to get out of my arms fast enough. True enough. Most folks also told us, "My baby had colic and by 6 months he was just happy all the time!" This, I can also attest to. Even when she had colic, whenever she was around people they'd say, "This baby has colic?!" Well sure, I'm holding her. She's happier than a pig in shit. Like I said though, the colic passed and like the other doll babies that came before, our little girl was touted as "One of the happiest babies" people had ever seen. Unless she's fighting a nap- now that's a nightmare for another post but largely and for the most part Bug is an extremely happy baby, very content and super social once she determines you're not a threat!

Yes, colic is one of those things that makes you want to rip out your ovaries so you don't have another baby... but it will pass. Eventually. Then you can look back and say a bunch of self righteous shit to the poor folks currently muddling through it. 

Hey Honey, Did You See This?

It started with a few little red specs on her chest and chin when she was a couple weeks old. I thought it was baby acne, so I let it go for a couple days. Then it grew a little more dense, spread a little further. My husband I and questioned each other about it and weren't quite sure what to make of it. I was a bit hesitant to take her to the doctor, what with how often we'd been there in the three first weeks of her existence (well checks, frenulum, acid reflux...) It was a rash, this much was becoming pretty clear to us now that it was spreading all over her poor little pot bell and around to her back. But what was causing it??

We took her to the doctor to have it checked out. This time it was the female doctor in the practice. She noted the rash on Bug's chest, belly and back and said she believed it to be a dairy allergy. My heart sank. My child? Allergic to dairy??? Impossible. No way. There was just no biological way a fruit of my loins had a physical aversion to dairy. I drank pools of milk as a kid and kept true to it right up until the recent reflux debacle. Ice cream, cheese, yogurt. No. Just, no. But, since the doctor thought that's what it was, I decided I'd make an appointment with an allergist.

That, was a production. The office they referred me to couldn't see Bug for a whole month. "A month?!" I barked. "Are you kidding me!?" (Oh baby, hormones were still in full swing back then). It was completely unacceptable. My daughter was afflicted with a horrid rash that I was certain would scar her for life and no one could squeeze us in sooner? I grudgingly took the appointment, hung up, cried hysterically, then looked up my own damn allergist. It wasn't acceptable... therefore, I refused to accept it. This office could see Bug within literally a couple of days. Sold.

They tested Bug for an allergy to dairy. The test itself was absolute cake. Clearly before going, as I'm sure you can relate, I googled the shit out of "infant allergy test" to see what my poor pumpkin would be facing. For Bug, it was three little scratches. That's it. And you know what? She slept through the whole damn thing. Didn't stir at all. She was less than two months old at the time. Within 15 minutes the results were clear. Negative. My daughter did NOT have a dairy allergy.

Phew! To be honest, as long as she wasn't allergic to dairy- I suddenly felt okay about the rash. I asked the allergist (who was great by the way) what he thought the problem was. "What detergent do you use?" He asked. "Tide." I moronically retorted. "You should probably switch to Dreft." He didn't add, "You nincompoop." That was real swell of him.

Switch to Dreft we did (costly as it was) and voila! Goodbye rash! We washed everything in Dreft. Baby's clothes, our clothes, sheets, etc. We used Dreft right up until recently and Bug is nearly 6 months old now. We're finishing up our last bottle as we've started using All Free & Clear because it's HALF the price and so far is working just as well.

You've Gotta Be ReFLUXing kidding me.

Meal times when from "Oh thank GOD she latched!" To "Why is she arching her back like that and puking so much?" The telltale signs were there. Arching the back, copious and I do mean copious amounts of spitting up after eating, clawing at the chest, crying. My niece had acid reflux as an infant so in this case I knew pretty quickly what was wrong. I brought it up at Bug's two week well check and they weren't sold on the notion that she indeed had reflux. Balls to that. I was!

In another week or so I took Bug back to the doctor because I wasn't convinced. (Any parent will tell you- always trust your gut). This time we saw the doc and he concurred that it was very likely Baby Girl was suffering from acid reflux. Splendid. So what are our options? There were two different prescription routes to go and we went with Zantac. Giving her the doses was a chore. At first we mixed it in with some pumped breastmilk, but that wasn't always effective. Eventually, Bug just got accustomed to the taste and while she wasn't wild about it, she still took it but it often took singing, blowing in her face, and walking about between oral syringe squeezes to get the job done. (Uh... we made the mistake of trying to give her the whole 0.8mls in one shot. It promptly came right back out).

The Zantac alone wasn't enough to ease her reflux. I began looking into triggers for reflux and found certain foods were said to be linked to aggravating a baby's reflux. Some dispute this, I found it to be fairly accurate. There were so many things I stopped eating and as a result her reflux wasn't as bad AND that baby weight just melted off. You know, like that butter I couldn't have anymore. Oh yeah, I went balls to the wall. Cut out dairy, spices, herbs, red meat, anything fried. My mother-in-law asked, "Well, what can you eat?" I wryly replied, "Chicken and animal crackers."

That wasn't too far off the mark. I did substitute regular milk for almond milk because after a while I just HAD to have my cereal. The almond milk appeared to have a positive impact on my breast milk, bumping up production. You see- not having many food choices meant I wasn't eating as much, which meant the supply got low... there will be a post to follow on this hellish cycle!

We had to keep upping the dose as our little peanut grew into a little sack of potatoes. Gradually, I began reintroducing more food items and it didn't seem to upset her reflux. By the time Bug was three and a half months old we took her off the Zantac ourselves because we missed a bunch of doses down the shore on vacation and noted that she wasn't throwing up or arching her back. She's been off the Zantac ever since and hasn't had an issue with reflux.

Additionally- I went out and bought Bug the Fisher Price Rock'n'Play Sleeper so she wouldn't be flat on her back (laying flat tends to bother reflux babies). She slept in that for about four weeks or so. We noted a difference, plus it was just a good baby item to have. I could drag it into the bathroom, put her in it and grab a much needed shower while she was comfy and cozy and close by! We tried to feed her a little more upright, kept her upright for around 20 minutes after feeding. Baby Bjorn or a similar front carrier came in very handy for keeping her upright so she was more comfortable. We also tried to keep her feeds smaller with shorter time in between.

When bottles were involved: Dr. Brown's Bottles . They aren't hard to clean. I read that review somewhere. If you did too, disregard it. We put them in the dishwasher but even when we don't, they're not difficult. It's not a rubix cube.

*Important note about prescription medication for infant acid reflux: The medication had a tendency to make our daughter constipated. We found this was also the case with other reflux babies we knew. For our little girl- Mylicon worked wonders. After a little while she really didn't mind the taste at all. (Not the case with all babies). It's supposed to be very natural and Bug didn't have any reactions to it but as with all things we give our babies, keep an eye out for any adverse reactions. Mylicon became a daily part of her routine and I completely forgot about it until I looked in our medicine cabinet last night! If Mylicon doesn't work for your little one, I've also heard of using gripe water or prune juice. The last helping hand is a little weird but it worked for our girl- my husband would lay her on the changing table, hold her feet up with her knees bent and gently kept her little buns apart. He'd even grunt along with her as a showing of solidarity! After a minute or so this usually helped her poo.

Gas- The Mylicon helped with relieving gas but so did doing bicycle kicks with our little girl. My husband was the best at it. He'd lay her down, and bend her knees in a circular motion towards her chest and then away from her chest. This one is pretty standard for reflux babies!

We thought the acid reflux nightmare would last for months, even years. Everyone's story is different. Bug kicked it within 3 months- praise be! Ultimately, you experiment with what you're comfortable with and stick with what works. It's all a process and all for that darling little peanut!

Congratulations! And Oh By The Way....

"She has a tight frenulum" 

My husband and I exchanged quizzical looks. "A tight what now?" The lactation consultant went on to explain that our dewy eyed brand new baby girl had a tight frenulum- that thing connecting your tongue to the bottom of your mouth. In old school terms, she was "tongue tied". Okay... so what does that mean for our daughter? It meant she might have some trouble nursing since she couldn't fully extend her tongue out of her mouth. It was suggested we possibly see an ENT about having it clipped. "Clipped!" Our baby was less than a day old. A bit much to mull over in the moment. 

So... we took her home and attempted to settle in as a family. Nursing wasn't the easiest thing, but she managed with some assistance (depressing the nipple for easier access). This was all well and good until she was 4 days old. Cue the most terrifying moment of my life- and my husbands' (so far). It had been a while since Bug nursed and when I went to feed her I was so incredibly engorged there was NO WAY she could latch. Our newborn daughter was screaming bloody murder, turning red with starvation and frustration and my knockers were too swollen with milk for her disadvantaged mouth to manage. Curse you, frenulum!!! Well, we panicked, we screamed, we wept. I wanted to rush her to the hospital, my husband was a mess but at least smart enough to know that was a stupid idea. All I knew as I rocked my wailing baby girl was I had to get some of that milk out so the engorgement would diminish. My husband called a lactation consultant and she gave us the go ahead to pump out some milk so the baby could latch. He hurriedly assembled the pump which we weren't even certain we'd ever use. Thank the good Lord, it worked and she was able to latch. It was then and there we decided- the frenulum was getting clipped. 

We made an appointment with our pediatrician and the procedure was swift but I wouldn't say painless. Bug screamed BUT, she has reacted worse to shots than she did the clipping. So I would say it isn't as bad as getting shots so don't stress too much over that. She was less than two weeks old when she had her frenulum clipped. As soon as the nurses were clear, I offered Bug some boob (which they recommend to help with healing and comfort). She latched right away, no problem. From then on, she didn't have a problem latching. 

You may question whether it's worth it. I guess it's a matter of preference. I know of another child who was born with a tight frenulum and it caused some speech issues so at the age of two she needed a clipping and at that age it's a lot more problematic.  

Bottom line: I wouldn't change what we did and if we ever have another child and the frenulum is an issue, we'll have it done in the hospital. (That used to be the standard operating procedure back in the day anyway!)